Dear Florida

I feel like a stranger in a strange land, and I'm not even in Africa yet! All it took was a trip to the local Sports Authority to feel like a stranger. I asked the first sales clerk if they sold "glacier glasses;" he gave me a confused look and asked, "Is that a brand?" He showed me both the regular sunglasses section and the swim goggle aisle and tried to sell me on a pair that had neoprene or something on the inside of the arms. I examined the glasses and acted as if they might work (they weren't even close) but quickly placed them back on the shelf as soon as he left.

Realizing that I wasn't going to have any luck with the glasses, I asked a saleslady if she had any polypro pants or specialized pants for climbing/hiking/colder weather. She looked at me as if I was the dumbest person on earth and said, "I'm a Florida girl." In other words, "I'm from a state where the average daily temperature is between 70 and 85 degrees. Do I really look like the type of person who would know anything about cold weather clothes?" (Or climbing, for that matter. The tallest natural point in FL is 345 ft high). Needless to say, it was off to another store.

At Dillards I found a pair of black, Dri-Fit leggings, but I still wanted a pair of climbing pants where you can zip off the bottom halves and turn them into shorts. A nice saleslady in the Women's section stated that they didn't have any more in stock, so my mom and I traveled over to the Men's section to see if they had any. This is the conversation that ensued:
Saleslady: Hi. Can I help you?
Mom: Yes, we are looking for those pants which can turn into shorts
Saleslady: (After looking at my mom and I for a few seconds...) You know you're in the Men's Department
My mom and I: I know
*Awkward pause where we all look at eachother*
Me: I like to wear men's clothes

Hahahahaha. After I said this, the saleslady looked at me like I was nuts. I should have really tripped her up by speaking in a deep voice. My mother and I left the store, leaving a trail of laughter behind.